he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
