I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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