You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
