Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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