She is in my trunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
