hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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