Jerry, you need to find god
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
