i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Bring me that man meat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
