she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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