Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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