It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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