then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We don't watch enough power rangers
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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