standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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