literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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