Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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