windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
