i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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