did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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