Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
