i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
