your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
