4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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