he shaved USA in his pubs
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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