told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
