Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
