He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
