it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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