White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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