Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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