My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize