You're a womanizer and a bitch.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.