so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
