I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sarcasm needs its own font
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.