guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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