tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize