My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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