Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
