she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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