i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
