Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
