Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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