Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
