D3 body, D1 cock
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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