Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
