Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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