I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
