I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
