whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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