So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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