If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
