this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
