ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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