I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
