at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
