My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
