Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
