Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Screwed.edu
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize