My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
