You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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