i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
