I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't turn off my feet"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
