i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
