Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
