Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
