I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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