We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
