Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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