u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
