My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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