Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
