his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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