dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
